Manly men.......

I love men. I'm talking manly men. The kind of guy with man stank. He also cleans up nice, but I prefer him shirtless.

He's good with his hands (YEAH he is) and can fix anything from my car to my computer. Oops, my car is broken. I need you to come fix it and take off your shirt, please. It's required for you to fix it properly.

He has manly hobbies like telling me I'm pretty and building things, or pretty much anything outdoorsy.

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He probably has a beard too, because that's what separates real men from women and children. None of that douchey facial hair business. Soul patches are not okay, ever.

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He's strong and can lift me up. (Against the wall. If you know what I mean.) He's so muscular because he takes his duty to defend my honor seriously.

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He's also sweet and gentle. And nice to his mom. When I'm stoked about getting tickets for Wicked, my ideal manly man would pray to Stormtrooper Jesus that I don't drag him along with me, but he would go if my friends were busy. What a nice guy.




But how do I meet these men? I'm a bohemian, kayaking, biking, brutally honest chick and I tend to attract nothing but compulsive lying douchebags crazies with mental health issues/musicians/etc. Opposites attract?

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Maybe I need to hang out at Home Depot more. Or learn how to hunt and fish.

 

 

 

 

Happy Friday. Cheers & beers!!

 

PS: I took a bit of this post from http://www.nerkyblog.com/

My top 10

Now I was chatting with a co-worker about the new superman movie and how the dude is FREAKIN HOT!!!! Jusy sayin. You wing-nuts know I believe in radical honesty and practice it with a vengeance. So I put together my list of my top 10 hotties and what I would like them to say to me when I walk in the door.  Your welcome.

"Hey girl.....I cooked dinner for you.......and desert. Oh and I took out all of the calories out too."


Can I have 2 of you please?


 

 "Hey girl......you get both of us!"


 

Why have 1 when you can have 2?






Ummmmm I think my pants just fell off!!





When did Neville become the hot one? Ummmm who cares, I will take.




Do you really want to know about my underwear? Like you would be able to keep anything on around this guy. Yeah I went there. You know you were thinking the same thing too. Don't lie.





I will make the exception on my rule on British guys for these two. You would too. Don't hate.






"Hey girl......feel this shirt I am wearing. Do you know what that feels like? Husband material.


Yes!!
He's from New Zealand. Do I really need another reason here?





Cheers and beers all!!!
 

That's what she said.....

Hi there crazy peeps. I hope everyone is having a rockin summer so far. I know I am. This weekend I got to sit on my ass all day Sunday and it was awesome!!! Normally when the weather even starts to get warm I am running around from the second I get off on Friday to when I attempt to get to bed on Sunday night. Sigh. Don’t get me wrong, I love hanging with my wing-nut friends cause they are the tits. But I do need some sleep. I normally walk into work on Mondays like a damn zombie hahahaha. Seriously. My answer to any questions before coffee is a grunt and an evil look.

 

I have been kayaking most weekends with my usual kayak crew (you crazies are the tits too, just sayin). I really need to hit the gym and gain some upper body strength. Cause dat ass is slow on the paddle. I am not doing the training for the Peachtree race. I will be honest….. I slacked off on the training during the week. And if you can’t do that week day training, you will NOT make it on the Saturday runs. Promise. I do walk up Stone Mountain instead. Go me!! I drag my friend Jo with me (me  wuvs you for being my workout buddy!!).  

On the food front…..last week I basically eliminated processed foods and it went really well. Saturday and especially Sunday I kinda fell off the wagon. Back on that shit today though. Eating crap makes me feel like ass, so I am off to the market after work to pick up fresh fruits and vegies. Oh yes. I will have to start getting up earlier and eating breakfast before my bike ride to work though. Apparently if you don’t eat anything your body starts burning muscle. Now that shit sucks. I get up at 7 and usually don’t eat breakfast until around 10am. That is the theory why my body wants to hang on to the weight. Ain’t nobody got time fo dat.

I will do a bunch of prep work on Sunday, or today since I decided to be lazy yesterday. Don’t hate. I need to make snacks so I can do smaller meals during the day. That will require more insulin of course, sigh. Just call me the human pin cushion. Whatever it takes to get the junk outta this trunk. Holla!!

 

And your day would not be complete without the dating tips for the day. Ladies…… trust your instincts. They are there for a reason and will never let you down. If some dude professes his undying love for you and you kinda giggle to keep your brain from making you shout out “bullshit”……..run like hell. Trust me on that one. I know we all want to believe the pretty little words, but in the end, you will be happy you kicked that doucher to the curb. Now don’t hate. This is solid gold advice for all. Your welcome!!

Cheers & beers!!!

New Plan

I don’t have a problem with food, I am just a creature of habit. And you know what my bad habits are……

1.       Sitting in front of the TV after dinner until I fall asleep on the couch

2.       Eating junk food for dinner in front of the couch because my kitchen is in such a mess that I don’t want to cook anything

3.       My kitchen is a mess….not good for food prep

4.       Not doing any food prep

5.       Buying groceries, then eating out all of the time because of above habits

 

There is no faking it….this chubby chick gets lazy. That is especially true when it is hot outside. To say that my bike rides leave me a hot sweaty mess is an understatement. But I rode my bike to and from work I deserve to eat a crap ton of junk for dinner right? Wrong bitches!!! This horrible thinking has caused me to pack on a few pounds over the last few weeks. I waste too much money on food that I let sit in the frig. And all of this is what WILL help me reach my goal. Sigh. So I am going to test out yet ANOTHER theory to help me not waste food.

Buy just what I need from whole foods. Cause when you pay out the ass for it you are less likely to let it go to waste. I would rather pay a bit more for quality and reach my goal than let the cheaper stuff rot and stay fat. Hey, it seems logical to me. I a, always starving by the time I get home. So its kind of a pain when you are a diabetic……you need a snack but have to take yet another insulin shot. Damn it. I take 4 shots a day as it is. Eh, might as well suck it up and do the afternoon snack thing. If it helps me not binge like I just got home from fat camp, so be it.

So I will say goodbye to all processed foods. White breads, rice, sugar, yadda yadda yadda. 2 cheat meals a week, but ½ of the meal has to be clean foods.

I know I know. I had a million and one plans, but none of them ever turned out the way I planned. But I am tired of being fat people. This shit has caused me a crap ton of annoyance. More on that one later.

Cheers & beers!!

The weekly update

So hi there crazy people. How has life been treating you? Been pretty busy around here these days. On a sad note…….I  had to get Batcowcat put to sleep this past weekend. She was pretty sick and in pain. I am glad she is not in any pain anymore. Sad, sad, sad. She was the coolest cat ever. Houdini doesn’t know what to do without his big sister around to annoy.

I did a bit of retail therapy at REI after my kitty passed away. Needless to say I got a new sit-on-top kayak. Went down the Taccoa River this weekend to test it out……not the smartest idea to test out a new kayak on a river I have never been on before. But at least I did not flip out of it like someone else. You know who you are hahahaha.

I was up in the mountains for Memorial Day weekend and did a bit of hiking. Note to self: do not attempt that shit after doing a 5K the same morning. My legs were not having any of the horse squeeze.

Honestly my weekends have been to damn bust and I roll into work on Monday morning like a zombie. But oh well. I have too much fun doing lots of stuff. Another kayaking run is in the works for this Sunday at Lake Lanier. Much more calm for a new kayak.

I had to stop the training for the Peachtree. I am not able to do the week assignments and the last training about killed me. Worry not my friends…..I have substituted walking up Stone Mountain on Saturday mornings instead. That just about killed me to but there is no increase in distance or anything, you can just walk up faster (like monkeys will fly out of my ass).

On the riding front……I still ride my bike to work. I have a feeling that I will need to leave my place a bit earlier because it is pretty hot when I leave at 8:45 in the morning. And it will only get worse with the heat. Since the gym is across from my office I should leave earlier and get in some weight training before work.

On the eating stuff…….well I have just been doing whatever the hell I wanted to for the last weeks or so. I am on a mission to cut out processed foods and see how that works. Will see how it goes for a week and will report the results. Starting tomorrow.

Cheers & beers !!