and.......repeat. damn it!!

I curse like an Irish sailor. I admit it, with pride. So in my mission to eat whole foods and plant strong, my dinners have been anything but. I have to start my 30 days & 30 nights all over again. But that’s ok. I can do that if I want (my middle finger to anyone that has a damn issue with it. It’s not your fat ass trying to turn things around).  So I will confess my last 2 night’s dinner. The first would be a trip to KFC. Enough said. Last night was delivery from Nancy’s Pizza. Chicago style with bacon. So lets me just tell you that it was holy-shit-balls-damn-good. On the bright side I could only eat 1 piece and I was stuffed.  But it caused me to feel like hell and my blood sugar last night and this morning was not good at all. Grrrrrr.

I am sure that slice of pizza was the main cause of the horrid bike ride this morning. I had to walk a good bit of it because I kept getting dizzy and just felt funky. But I am going to see the cardiologist to make sure something isn’t seriously wrong. Because I can feel something is wrong and it is time to do the nuclear test on the ole ticker. Am I being paranoid because of my family history? You bet your ass. My dad and grandmother both had bypass surgery. My grandfather dies from complications of a heart attack when he was 62. My dad passed away when he was 63 due to his heart failing and he had his bypass surgery when he was only 45. Scared yet? You should be. Cause I am. I have been a type 1 diabetic for 30 years and that pretty much guarantees that I will have heart issue out the ass. So better safe than sorry. You would think all of this would scare me into a healthy eating pattern but obviously hasn’t. And that worries me even more. But I know my body and I can tell when something is off. I just want to feel normal again and have some piece of mind about my heart.

So I am back on track today, right now. Not tomorrow, not on Monday. I actually think a junk food addiction is a hell of a lot harder than any drug addiction. That includes meth. Even some of the basic foods you get from the grocery store are designed to make you want more and more.   

So that is my confession today. in case you are wondering......this is what falling off the wagon looks like.

Cheers & beers!!!